Wednesday, January 14, 2015

"Modest" Proposal (Satirical)


   For many years now there has been controversy over gun laws in the United States. Most recently of these controversies revolves around the many shootings, particularly of schools, that have taken arise in this nation. We have lost so many of our country's youth to these shootings; all it takes is one disturbed individual with access to a weapon and countless lives can be lost; young and often defenseless lives that are taken too soon. Imagine being a parent to one of those victims. Imagine having to bury your child. Imagine going through something so inconceivably tragic and know that it was not a once in a lifetime chance, that you are only one of hundreds and hundreds of mothers and fathers and guardians that go through this. Imagine that one morning you forgot to kiss them goodbye was the last morning you even had a chance. Imagine this, but can you?

   Now try to imagine a world where this horror does not exist; imagine a world where every child is truly safe in their schools, where no parent ever has to worry of such things, where no child ever has to walk in on the news to see the headline "Children Slaughtered in School Shooting". Think about it. Think about how nice it would be.

   Since 1992, there have been 387 school shootings in the United States alone; the number of victims even higher and the number of shootings only increasing per year since 2011. There has been many different attempts at solving the issue such as increasing security measures with cameras and locks, more lock-down drills for student prepping, and tries to fix our guns laws here. I as well have my own proposal for a solution.

   A way I believe could help prevent the deaths of school children and adolescents is to have them wear bulletproof suits all the time. We have already begun producing bulletproof backpacks for children and little shields for them to carry around, why not just produce an item that can reflect bullets at all angles!

   The design of this suit would be simple. It would cover completely from neck down in a thick, pressured material also that is machine washable. At the area of the chest and back and the front/sides of the neck there will be strong, bullet impenetrable padding; the arms, legs, and other remaining regions will have thinner, softer padding for more efficient movement and more comfort. The stiffness of the main padding provides posture adjustment while also evenly distributed weight in the front and back; this design may ultimately decrease the effects of scoliosis. The use of these suits potentially lead to the end of the "should all schools have uniforms or not" debate through the sleek one-piece design in either only black, white, or navy blue.

   Now one may counter that buying bulletproof suits, or uniforms, for children would be far too costly, but I have a solution to that as well. As it has been done for many other things, there would be several major corporations will to donate money for these uniforms assuming, of course, that they would be recognized for their charity through the use of schools campaigning their businesses. I am sure companies like Coca-Cola, Mars, and McDonald's that have a target focus audience of children will surely take advantage this offer.    

   The concept of the bulletproof child suits have many significant positives to the design that only add to the overall idea, these being comfort, style, support and ingenuity upon many other things. Although, despite these, it is also important to show exactly how supreme this plan is indeed by comparing it to its contending plans.    

   Some may believe there are other ways of solving the issue. One that I have heard is that there should be psychological testing done for a gun license is received; however, this is how I see it: it is going to be far too difficult and complicated to hold psychological analysis tests for all people who register for a gun licenses, and many people feel as though psych testing is too invasive. Another popular idea I have heard is simply to restrict guns in general, although, as the original document of the American Constitution states, all citizens have the right to bare arms, and that would then easily be proved unconstitutional in court and change to the original laws would be reinstated. So why don't we just bulletproof our children? Then the amount of guns and psychotic shooters does not matter, right? I see this as all very simple.

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